Showing posts with label balance. Show all posts
Showing posts with label balance. Show all posts

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Change

"Change is the only constant in life."
This is an oft-quoted and popular saying. This is a favourite topic for Essays, Speeches and Motivational Seminars. Yet, even though we hear it, there are very few people who can claim to have understood it and applied it in their life.
What is this quote telling us?
In simple words, there is nothing in life which is "definite" or "carved in stone" so as to say. Everything, be it friends, family, feelings, careers or anything else, is temporary and fleeting.
What is there today may not be tomorrow.

We humans have a tendency which seems to be hardwired in us.
We take certain situations and then decide "This is the way things should be" and then hope that they will stay that way forever.
None of us is immune to this behaviour.
We all have faced situations where we've thought "This is so perfect. I wish things could stay like this always." Then one day, this hope shatters and we are rudely awakened from our dreams to face cruel reality.
Change has gate-crashed the party.

Now there are two ways we can deal with it: one, we can moan, groan and try to find ways to get back to how things were before and then grumble when we realize this is not possible. This is what most of us (including me) do initially.
OR
We can accept what has happened and move on with life. Always remember the good times but, at the same time, look ahead to what awaits us in the future.
Accepted, the second part is not as easy as it sounds. It is far easier to give in to the sadness and anguish we face at the parting. To resist it seems be a sacrilege, a grave sin. We feel as if we're being unfaithful to the memories we're leaving behind, to our friends who are mere memories now.
The only question we need to ask ourselves at this point is, of what use are those memories if the only thing they bring is anguish? Aren't we showing disrespect to them by making them a source of pain both to us and those new people who come in our life?

Of one thing we can be certain, by resisting change, we can't stop it. Change is inevitable. We merely make the transition more painful for ourselves by resisting it.
For example, an adjustment which might have taken a year of sad farewells to old friends and tentative forging of new ones gets protracted into 3-4 years of bitter anguish over lost friendships and later, regret and sadness over the new bonds we could have formed, but didn't, because we couldn't move with the times.

Whatever be the way we choose, the end result is the same. Sooner or later, we accept and move on.
What changes is merely how we achieve this acceptance.

From what I've written till now, it appears as if Change is an enemy we can't fight, a cruel conqueror who knows no defeat. This is not true. Change is merely an agent that Nature employs to ensure that Life is balanced, sustained and dynamic.
Just as a stagnant body of water gets choked with weeds and unwanted rubbish and finally ends up dead and lifeless, without Change, we will get "choked" and lose meaning in life.

When we understand Change and accept it, we are like a river, bubbling with life and energy, ready to face whatever life throws at us. This knowledge fills us with the power and strength to face the trials of life.
A river may cross wastelands, mountains, even deserts on it's way to the sea but it never stops. When it encounters obstacles in it's path, it merely flows around it and moves on.

That is what we have to do. Keep "flowing" till we reach our goal.

"The one thing that will never change is that things are always changing . . ."

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Balance

Today's I'd like to write about the concept of "Balance".
This little understood concept is probably the cornerstone of everything there is in this World, including us. I will attempt to explain what I feel with two seemingly contradictory examples, one being Order and Chaos, the other Life and Death.

As it is said "There is Order in Chaos and Chaos in Order."
This seemingly contradictory saying is actually expressing a great truth. Order and Chaos are symbiotic concepts. Without Order, Chaos has no meaning and vice versa. Popular literature has always portrayed Order as "Good" and Chaos as "Bad". It is thought that if there would have been no Chaos, there would be perfection. But, this is wrong. Without Chaos, Order loses meaning. A basic example of this relationship would be the creation of the Universe. This Universe, the ultimate symbol of Perfection (Order), was itself created due to a Big Bang (Chaos).

Life and Death.
From time immemorial, humans have valued and loved life and at the same time, hated and feared death. Immortality is supposed to be the greatest gift which a human can receive. But again I ask, if Death were to cease to exist, would there be any meaning or value to Life? Right now, many of the "good" things in our life, like Love, Companionship, Affection etc., are so valued because we might lose them. If they could never be lost, would they have the same value? We would be like those stone sculptures we can see in caves, timeless, immortal but utterly useless.
There is no Life without Death. And there is no Death without Life.

Every culture has tried to pass on this knowledge in some form or the other, be it the God Shiva in Hinduism doing the "Tandava", the primordial dance of destruction and preservation or the Yin-Yang concept of Taoism. It is all the same.
To grasp one side and to reject the other is foolishness. We need both to exist. Humans have a tendancy of focussing excessively on one aspect and completely neglecting the other.

When we disturb the balance of life, we go against everything Nature has set up. To correct the balance, certain changes take place which we name as "problems". We have to understand that this is just Nature's way of correcting the imbalance we are causing. The sooner we understand this, the faster those problems will disappear.

"There is no answer to any of these questions. It's a matter of time and timing, of seas and seasons, of breathing in and breathing out. It's a matter of balance."
- Life 101: Everything We Wish We Had Learned About Life in School--But Didn't (The Life 101 Series)

Friday, November 21, 2008

Friendship


"True friendship is sitting together in silence and feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had."

This is a topic very dear to my heart. My friends are what make my life worth living. If not for them I can't imagine how life would have been. As a matter of fact, I would probably have been one of those individuals who grow up as ruthless and heartless beasts. I owe my friends my life and I credit them for a great extent of what I am.

I don't have many friends but the few that I have are very precious to me. Each of them is unique in his own way. No two of them are alike but they all are special in their own way. The most important fact that bonds our friendship together is that we can be our true selves with each other. There is no need for any kind of "formality" or "etiquette" between us.

It is my cozy little group, my family or "my Inner Circle" as I like to call them. I can be myself when I'm with them without any worry that they'll think I'm strange or funny. They tell me their problems and I tell them mine.

Life without them is unimaginable for me now. The day I met them was probably the best day of my life.

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born."
- Anais Nin