There is a very popular concept often used in personality quizzes. Often there is a question which goes as follows "Mention one word which describes you". I have found that there are not one, but two words which have pretty much dominated my life. One has been "Understanding" and the other "Trust". Both are pretty much related in my context, but there is one major difference.
People rarely ever understand me and I rarely ever trust them.
There have been umpteen complications and problems I've faced in my life which have shaped me as I am today. I trusted people in my past and they got me nothing but betrayal and pain. As of understanding, the only person who has probably ever managed to understand and accept me, to a major extent, has been my dear brother.
These problems have made me a man few understand and, fewer still, accept. I wish I could say that all this never concerned me. That I am happy as I am. I wish.
The truth is, I have been lonely all my life. I've had a good and loving family, multitudes of friends and a pretty good life as far as things like intelligence, respectability etc. are concerned. In spite of all this, I've rarely ever felt safe, contented or happy. I am still a nomad, a wanderer searching for something. Only, I myself don't know what that something is.
People ask me why are you so negative?, why do you listen to such dark music, why do you write such dark words?
I have only one answer: This is what I am in truth.
I know that most of you find this hard to understand but then that how I am.
To be hurt
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
To feel lost
To be left out in the dark
To be kicked when you're down
To feel like you've been pushed around
To be on the edge of breaking down
And no one's there to save you
No you don't know what it's like
Welcome to my life
- Lyrics from Welcome to my life by Simple Plan
7 comments:
v all luv u and accept u the way u r,james..u need a nice kick 4 feeling so lonely wen u hav us...:)
There's a reason I didn't post this blog on facebook. :-)
I was in a very melancholic mood while writing this.
i feel that its time u shud let go of your past...and moreover understanding sum1 is a lifelong process..no1 cn understand any1 tht well...thts wht i feel
I believe that you can let go of the past but the past will never let you go. :-)
After all, you can't move forward without learning from the past. It's a painful process but as they say, "No pain, No gain."
Greetings!
Something reminded me of you and i just happened to log on to your page. Lucky was i to find such an interesting and honest account of your life.
Loneliness my friend is a state of mind. Let it not take over your body. Your existence is not alone, maybe your mind is. Command it to be the way you want it to be for it shall definitely listen to its master.
Loneliness may be a state of mind, but then again, the mind is what defines what we are. Without the mind, the body is nothing but dust. The mind is ME.
So as far as I'm concerned, nothing can be more real to me than what's on my mind. :-)
It is for sure that what is on your mind is real. But who other than you can change it?
They say, "to see the change, be the change."
regards
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