Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Change

"Change is the only constant in life."
This is an oft-quoted and popular saying. This is a favourite topic for Essays, Speeches and Motivational Seminars. Yet, even though we hear it, there are very few people who can claim to have understood it and applied it in their life.
What is this quote telling us?
In simple words, there is nothing in life which is "definite" or "carved in stone" so as to say. Everything, be it friends, family, feelings, careers or anything else, is temporary and fleeting.
What is there today may not be tomorrow.

We humans have a tendency which seems to be hardwired in us.
We take certain situations and then decide "This is the way things should be" and then hope that they will stay that way forever.
None of us is immune to this behaviour.
We all have faced situations where we've thought "This is so perfect. I wish things could stay like this always." Then one day, this hope shatters and we are rudely awakened from our dreams to face cruel reality.
Change has gate-crashed the party.

Now there are two ways we can deal with it: one, we can moan, groan and try to find ways to get back to how things were before and then grumble when we realize this is not possible. This is what most of us (including me) do initially.
OR
We can accept what has happened and move on with life. Always remember the good times but, at the same time, look ahead to what awaits us in the future.
Accepted, the second part is not as easy as it sounds. It is far easier to give in to the sadness and anguish we face at the parting. To resist it seems be a sacrilege, a grave sin. We feel as if we're being unfaithful to the memories we're leaving behind, to our friends who are mere memories now.
The only question we need to ask ourselves at this point is, of what use are those memories if the only thing they bring is anguish? Aren't we showing disrespect to them by making them a source of pain both to us and those new people who come in our life?

Of one thing we can be certain, by resisting change, we can't stop it. Change is inevitable. We merely make the transition more painful for ourselves by resisting it.
For example, an adjustment which might have taken a year of sad farewells to old friends and tentative forging of new ones gets protracted into 3-4 years of bitter anguish over lost friendships and later, regret and sadness over the new bonds we could have formed, but didn't, because we couldn't move with the times.

Whatever be the way we choose, the end result is the same. Sooner or later, we accept and move on.
What changes is merely how we achieve this acceptance.

From what I've written till now, it appears as if Change is an enemy we can't fight, a cruel conqueror who knows no defeat. This is not true. Change is merely an agent that Nature employs to ensure that Life is balanced, sustained and dynamic.
Just as a stagnant body of water gets choked with weeds and unwanted rubbish and finally ends up dead and lifeless, without Change, we will get "choked" and lose meaning in life.

When we understand Change and accept it, we are like a river, bubbling with life and energy, ready to face whatever life throws at us. This knowledge fills us with the power and strength to face the trials of life.
A river may cross wastelands, mountains, even deserts on it's way to the sea but it never stops. When it encounters obstacles in it's path, it merely flows around it and moves on.

That is what we have to do. Keep "flowing" till we reach our goal.

"The one thing that will never change is that things are always changing . . ."