Do you wear your heart on your sleeve? ..

Kids, let me give you a piece of advice which, if taken, might spare you a world of pain later.

Never trust anyone blindly.

No matter how much you share, no matter how close you come, never give someone your everything. Cuz the moment you do that, you give him/her the power to destroy you utterly and completely.

And you never know, he/she just might ..

Then, no matter what you say, no matter what you do, things will never be the same again ..

Remember, these are not words written in the throes of emotion. They are the outcome of cool, collected thinking.

If these words seem negative/defeatist to you today, just keep them  in your heart. A day will come when you will remember them.

In this world of thieves and liars, I pity the fool who puts his trust in another man ..

Invictus ..

Once in a while, you come across something that inspires you, something that changes your life. 'Invictus' is one such poem. Written by William Ernest Henley in 1875, it has been a source of inspiration for people like Nelson Mandela. It is famously said to be "the poem that inspired a nation".

Here it is, for your reading pleasure.

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the Pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds, and shall find, me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll.
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

About Opinions, Free Will and Choices ...

This morning, I was reading Odd Thomas by Dean Koontz. An amazing story about an ordinary guy who does extraordinary things. Unlike the regular superhero stories that are as common as the common cold in this season, this superhero is just an ordinary guy with an extraordinary gift. A person who can hurt, fear and feel like a living breathing human. Granted, he's a weirdo unlike most of the so-called "normal" people on this planet, but then, that's not such a rare disease. One person known to you who belongs to this distinguished category is yours truly.

Anyway, I'm straying away from the topic at hand. Everyday in the news I hear about mass murderers, terrorists, everyday people who go crazy and murder their own families and so on. What really amazes me is the confidence with which these people impose their "views" and "opinions" on other people by such "honourable" means such as terror and fear. It's one thing to believe in whatever sick, misguided viewpoint you have about this world and quite another to impose it on others.

I believe this is a monster which has spawned from the innocent and good-intentioned way in which the parent, the teacher, the government or even society in general decides what is right and wrong for the general populace and merrily dictates rules to them. The individual has no option but to fall in with the general opinion. To break the predefined code is to invite censure, condemnation, isolation, excommunication and sometimes even punishment.

Not that I'm against law and order. To some extent, it is necessary. Without it, humans would be like a pack of wild hyenas ready to hunt anything and everything down. But now it is turning into a twisted automaton, a relentless juggernaut ready to crush anything and everything that stands in it's way. And one misguided individual with enough mana, be it charisma, power or money, is sufficient to bring unbelievable evil into the world. Case in point, Adolf Hitler.

Regardless of what the society thinks, your own opinion as an individual should always weigh more. And more importantly, it should not matter to you what the person beside you thinks. There is a reason God allowed Free Will. You should be free to choose your own path, regardless of the consequences. Some wise guy said, "Tuam ipsam vive vitam quia tuam ipsam oppetes mortem". In simple english, it means, "Live your own life, for you will die your own death".

All the same, never take a decision that will harm another. Just like you, others also have a right to live their own life in a way they see fit. You have no right to decide for them. The terrorists who used the airline flights as guided missiles to "make a point" were never concerned about the countless innocents they had sentenced to death. All those people were just collateral damage. This is what I hate. If you want to blow yourself up, go on by all means. But don't drag innocents into it.

In this world of evil and hate,

For a few who have twisted their fate,

So many have lost their life and love

Making this earth like Hell below.

- A few lines penned by me

My Heart

My heart has endless secrets to keep,

I close my eyes and tuck me to sleep.

Sleep will I for an eternity and twoscore,

Troubles will haunt my mind nevermore ...

My poor little heart, so dark and cold,

Once it had hoped for someone to hold.

But what it found, chilled it to the core.

Now all it says is, "nevermore, nevermore ..."

Darkness is not necessarily a vice,

Though it makes you cold as ice.

In this world, wicked and full of fear,

'Tis foolish to shed for someone a tear ....

In this world, there is only one creed,

Worship the one for whom you have a need.

And soon the time and need is past.

And out into the shadows is he cast ...

Dark words are these, I do agree,

As I laughingly hear your furious decree,

"Cast him out into the bosom of the night,

Never again shall he see the light ..."

Why, my friend, the night was always mine,

She embraces me, happily her eyes shine,

Even in your bluster, I can smell your fear.

Is that why you don't dare come near?

Ballad of a Beast

My friends, both old and of the new mould,

Both from the shadow and the realm of gold,

To each when you became so dear,

A shard of my heart I had given to keep near.

Over the years, now I have found,

Of all the shards I had passed around,

A few were lost, a few thrown away,

A few found to be a burden on the way.

A fragment is all that is left of my dear heart,

I guard it zealously from all who would tear it apart,

And yet to you, so naive, so gay,

I grant you my life even as you unthinkingly say...

"What are you, but a beast without a heart,

A stranger, a wanderer, is this all you can grant?"

'A beast without a heart', 'tis very true,

But only because my heart bled for each one of you...

To feel or not to feel . . .

I wish to put forth a question for which I have yet failed to find a convincing answer.

Would you prefer to Feel or not to Feel (even if choosing the former means risking exposing yourself to senseless, mindless pain)?

It is often said that it is better to feel even pain than not feeling anything at all. I believe otherwise.

What is your take?

Masks

Masks. We all must've used one at some point of our lives, maybe at a play in school or college, maybe to some Halloween/Masquerade party.

But the masks which I mention are the ones not visible on our person, the ones we wear either consciously or subconsciously to trick the people around us into thinking of us as someone/something which we are not.

Since time immemorial, people have been pretending to be something they are not. It is a subconscious reflex, thanks to the primitive and powerful survival instinct. Everyone is unconsciously trying to increase their odds of survival.

Not just people, even animals do the same. Only it's called 'Camouflage'. Since evolution did not find it necessary to provide us with masks such as skin that can change color, we had to resort to more subtle ones.

Let me suggest an interesting trick. This only needs patience and some amount of keen observation.

Next time you see a boy talking to an attractive girl (or vice versa) or a student talking to a teacher (or an employee talking to his superior), just count the number of times he laughs. Compare it with the number of times he/she laughs normally. I bet you will be surprised.

At one point of time, I used to look down on people who behave in this 'two-faced' manner. Now I realize, this is the way it is supposed to be. Lies and deception are something that is hard-wired into our system. The better you are at it, the further you will go.

The bible couldn't have been more wrong when it said: "Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth." Not even close. The meek shall be lucky to survive on this earth.

Let truth prevail (whatever it is . . .)

Recently I had a discussion which brought home a few painful truths:

1] We are a country of amazingly narrow-minded people.

2] The so-called educated/civilized strata of our society harbours some of the most narrowest minds we could ever meet.

On introspection, we ourselves might not be as open-minded as we think we are. The issue which drove me to think about these points was this: should religion play a role in education? The opinion I'd heard which shocked me was that religion and education are inseparable.

As far as my personal opinion is concerned, I believe that one of the major reasons for our masses being liable to being manipulated so easily by cunning politicians leading to so many bloody riots and unnecessary anguish is this stupid belief:

"What I believe is the truth. It is my duty to stand by my beliefs no matter what happens."

I staunchly believe in the 2nd statement and at the same time, firmly reject the 1st one.

It is impossible for a person to know if his beliefs/thoughts represent absolute truth.

Of course, I am free to follow what I believe is the truth. But, at the same time, I cannot (and should not) enforce it on someone else as his/her thoughts and beliefs might be completely different.

Just as a person standing in a train cannot measure the speed of another train, we cannot judge the truthfulness or falsehood of a situation while we are influenced by it.

In simple words, I have no right to judge another individual.

Let us live our life according to our beliefs and extend the same courtesy to others. The burden of a single soul is more than enough.

Remember, there is always the very real danger that we may have been wrong . . .

Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it. - Andre Gide

Happy?

I'm amazing myself by writing so much about this strange emotion called happiness. Generally, the only time I think about it is when I'm sorely missing it.

Strangely, this is one of the happiest times of my life. I'm more peaceful, contented, satisfied and most importantly, happy than I've ever been before.

In my four years of engineering, the most important lesson that I've learnt, probably even more important than my engineering studies, is that one can be truly happy only if his/her search for happiness goes within.

In simple words, your happiness should not be a result of things in your surrounding.

Sounds so mystical, wise and "enlightened", doesn't it?

Now, if I put it in a slightly different manner, the reaction of people would be drastically different.

"To be happy, you must not be too concerned with others." - Albert Camus

I can almost hear the cries, "Oh, but that's so selfish!!"

If losing your happiness and peace of mind for someone else is selflessness, I'd rather be happy and selfish.

Ask yourself a honest question, what would you choose?

Happiness

"Smile your troubles away."

We all have heard this at some point of our life and wondered, "What bullshit!!" I have reacted the same way many times in my life.

I am a pessimistic guy by nature, well, not pessimistic to be precise. I prefer to look at what can go wrong with a particular scenario and be prepared for it. If things don't go wrong, it's a bonus. I call it being "prepared", others call it being "pessimistic". To each, his own . . .

There have been many situations when forget smiling, I don't even feel like talking civilly with people around me. To speak of smiling in such situations feels like a joke which isn't even funny.

However, over the past few years I have realized something.

The multitudes of self-help videos, books etc. etc. which talk about smiling and being happy aren't talking all crap. They're just using the wrong word for it.

They say, "Be happy when things go wrong" when they actually mean, "Be calm\peaceful when things go wrong". The first one may be downright impossible for most people (barring a few "advanced" souls) but the second one, though difficult, can be achieved by each and everyone of us ordinary "non-evolved" people.

It is true, we do affect the environment around us (through our emotions). Before laughing it off as mystical mumbo-jumbo, think about it. Haven't you ever experienced this? You're sitting in a good mood, when a cranky fellow pops in and totally ruins your mood leaving you angry and irritated. In the same way, all the people in a group visibly perk up when a person known to be jolly and funny joins them. Just the idea of having a good time is often enough to lift up our spirits.

In the Bollywood movie "3 Idiots", the protagonist "Rancho" (excellently played by Aamir Khan) says at one point, "Our heart is an idiot. It gets scared very easily. So, we have to fool it. Whenever you face any trouble, say, 'All is well' "

His friend asked (rather crossly), "And that will solve our problem?"

He smiled and replied, "No. But it gives us the strength to deal with them."

And that, my friends, is the secret of happiness . . .

Selflessness??

We all have heard this, "He/she is so selfish!!"

Nowadays, every other person we meet seems to be a selfish, stuck-up prig. Not being a very philanthropic individual myself and having heard this phrase far too many times, I started thinking. What is Selfishness? Does something called Selflessness really exist?

What I came up with is this: there is nothing called Selflessness.

We all are inherently selfish. No one's at fault. Selfishness is hard-wired into human nature. Whatever we do always has some personal interests in the background.

Even our so-called "selfless" acts are not an exception to this.

Parents expect children to take care of them in their old age, respect them and bring honour to their name. The devout worship their God in the hope that he will grant good fortune (physical or spiritual) to them.

Even our Gods are not immune to selfishness!! (Pardon my blasphemy)

They'll bestow all boons and good fortune on you . . . provided you worship them and follow all their rules and regulations.

I'm sure you all are thinking, "What nonsense is he talking about? Isn't that what is expected of us?" My reply is, "Expectations" is just another better sounding word to express what you want from others.

Now, isn't that selfish?

Selfishness is the basis of all relationships. If you doubt what I said, take any relationship you are in and ask yourself, "What is the reason I am sustaining this relationship for?"

The answers you will get will be varied and numerous. "Companionship", "Understanding", "Attraction", even "Money/similar benefits" might be some of the answers you come up with.

Many friendships are prime examples of this shallowness. We fulfil our human need for companionship through our friends. But, as soon as we get a "better" option, be it love or maybe even another friend, the previous relationship often disintegrates and slowly destroys itself, often despite the best efforts and intentions of both parties.

That is how Nature works. Whatever is necessary and beneficial is retained, everything else is purged. It's the way of evolution. Whenever you find something better, you discard the older substitute , even if it worked fine all this time.

Hence, I believe 'Selflessness' is just a delusional thought, another redundant product of the human mind. The only eternal feelings are life's most primitive instincts: survive, procreate and nurture your lineage, in that order.

Probably, the biggest folly of the human mind is in thinking that it is superior to Nature merely because it is capable of generating these apparently "superior" ideals as compared to the "primitive" instincts adopted by Nature. We have a lot to learn from Nature.

"Vanity of vanities," saith the Preacher, "Vanity of vanities! All is vanity."

- Ecclesiastes 1:2

Change

"Change is the only constant in life."

This is an oft-quoted and popular saying. This is a favourite topic for Essays, Speeches and Motivational Seminars. Yet, even though we hear it, there are very few people who can claim to have understood it and applied it in their life.
What is this quote telling us?
In simple words, there is nothing in life which is "definite" or "carved in stone" so as to say. Everything, be it friends, family, feelings, careers or anything else, is temporary and fleeting.
What is there today may not be tomorrow.

We humans have a tendency which seems to be hardwired in us.
We take certain situations and then decide "This is the way things should be" and then hope that they will stay that way forever.
None of us is immune to this behaviour.
We all have faced situations where we've thought "This is so perfect. I wish things could stay like this always." Then one day, this hope shatters and we are rudely awakened from our dreams to face cruel reality.
Change has gate-crashed the party.

Now there are two ways we can deal with it: one, we can moan, groan and try to find ways to get back to how things were before and then grumble when we realize this is not possible. This is what most of us (including me) do initially.
OR
We can accept what has happened and move on with life. Always remember the good times but, at the same time, look ahead to what awaits us in the future.
Accepted, the second part is not as easy as it sounds. It is far easier to give in to the sadness and anguish we face at the parting. To resist it seems be a sacrilege, a grave sin. We feel as if we're being unfaithful to the memories we're leaving behind, to our friends who are mere memories now.
The only question we need to ask ourselves at this point is, of what use are those memories if the only thing they bring is anguish? Aren't we showing disrespect to them by making them a source of pain both to us and those new people who come in our life?

Of one thing we can be certain, by resisting change, we can't stop it. Change is inevitable. We merely make the transition more painful for ourselves by resisting it.
For example, an adjustment which might have taken a year of sad farewells to old friends and tentative forging of new ones gets protracted into 3-4 years of bitter anguish over lost friendships and later, regret and sadness over the new bonds we could have formed, but didn't, because we couldn't move with the times.

Whatever be the way we choose, the end result is the same. Sooner or later, we accept and move on.
What changes is merely how we achieve this acceptance.

From what I've written till now, it appears as if Change is an enemy we can't fight, a cruel conqueror who knows no defeat. This is not true. Change is merely an agent that Nature employs to ensure that Life is balanced, sustained and dynamic.
Just as a stagnant body of water gets choked with weeds and unwanted rubbish and finally ends up dead and lifeless, without Change, we will get "choked" and lose meaning in life.

When we understand Change and accept it, we are like a river, bubbling with life and energy, ready to face whatever life throws at us. This knowledge fills us with the power and strength to face the trials of life.
A river may cross wastelands, mountains, even deserts on it's way to the sea but it never stops. When it encounters obstacles in it's path, it merely flows around it and moves on.

That is what we have to do. Keep "flowing" till we reach our goal.

"The one thing that will never change is that things are always changing . . ."

Balance

Today's I'd like to write about the concept of "Balance".
This little understood concept is probably the cornerstone of everything there is in this World, including us. I will attempt to explain what I feel with two seemingly contradictory examples, one being Order and Chaos, the other Life and Death.

As it is said "There is Order in Chaos and Chaos in Order."
This seemingly contradictory saying is actually expressing a great truth. Order and Chaos are symbiotic concepts. Without Order, Chaos has no meaning and vice versa. Popular literature has always portrayed Order as "Good" and Chaos as "Bad". It is thought that if there would have been no Chaos, there would be perfection. But, this is wrong. Without Chaos, Order loses meaning. A basic example of this relationship would be the creation of the Universe. This Universe, the ultimate symbol of Perfection (Order), was itself created due to a Big Bang (Chaos).

Life and Death.
From time immemorial, humans have valued and loved life and at the same time, hated and feared death. Immortality is supposed to be the greatest gift which a human can receive. But again I ask, if Death were to cease to exist, would there be any meaning or value to Life? Right now, many of the "good" things in our life, like Love, Companionship, Affection etc., are so valued because we might lose them. If they could never be lost, would they have the same value? We would be like those stone sculptures we can see in caves, timeless, immortal but utterly useless.
There is no Life without Death. And there is no Death without Life.

Every culture has tried to pass on this knowledge in some form or the other, be it the God Shiva in Hinduism doing the "Tandava", the primordial dance of destruction and preservation or the Yin-Yang concept of Taoism. It is all the same.
To grasp one side and to reject the other is foolishness. We need both to exist. Humans have a tendancy of focussing excessively on one aspect and completely neglecting the other.

When we disturb the balance of life, we go against everything Nature has set up. To correct the balance, certain changes take place which we name as "problems". We have to understand that this is just Nature's way of correcting the imbalance we are causing. The sooner we understand this, the faster those problems will disappear.

"There is no answer to any of these questions. It's a matter of time and timing, of seas and seasons, of breathing in and breathing out. It's a matter of balance."
- Life 101: Everything We Wish We Had Learned About Life in School--But Didn't (The Life 101 Series)

Fidelity in Relationships

Loyalty or Fidelity is a quality that seems to have become quite rare nowadays. These days, boyfriends & girlfriends are changed at the rate clothes are changed divorces are given at the drop of a hat, extra-marital affairs are a common story in every neighbourhood. In the midst of all this, one sits and wonders, "Is this what relationships are all about? Is this the reason teens go all out to woo someone they like, just to dump them the next week? Is this the reason people get married, just to break the spirit, and body of the bride who comes expecting to be loved, cared and to find someone to love in return?"

Nowadays, the day of 'my one true love' is gone. It's 'my many true loves' now.Greater the number of girlfriends/boyfriends you have, cooler you are. And obviously you have to sleep with every one of them. People have forgotten that betrayal gives you a wound that does not heal with time for most, and even for others, the scars are always there to remind them of the pain.

There is a Hindi song 'Ehsaan' which goes on as follows "Ehsaan itna sa kar de, mujhe phir tanha sa kar de" which mean 'Do me this one favour, make me lonely once again'. Turning the famous adage on it's head, I say
' Tis better not to have loved than to have loved and lost'.

Fear of the Future

Will I be able to feel secure,

wherever I go, I hear the death's call,

"Die, die, die . . . . "

These are the lyrics of a song by the Doom Metal Band 'Grave Flowers', rather ironically titled "Fear of Future".

I fear these lyrics chronicle the way we Indians, and more specifically, we Mumbaikars have been feeling.

Everybody is scared and angry(Just read some of these smses being circulated). Seeing this mindless carnage, many of my friends have decided to join the armed forces and help the country.

I guess this is the mindset of the majority in this country at this point. I don't know whether this is right or whether this is wrong. Many will join soon to find their fervour ebbing later.

Do what you think is right, but think with your heads, not your hearts. And once you've made your decision, follow it with all your heart.

Will I be able to feel secure,

wherever I go, I hear the death's call,

"Die, die, die . . . . "

The Age of Innocence

"The age of innocence is fading like an old dream . . . . "

These are the lyrics of Iron Maiden's songs "Age of Innocence". I was listening to this song the other day and I was led to think about the relevance of this song to today's world.

Today, the emphasis is on growing up as fast as possible. Toddlers in kindergarden are taught how to hold a spoon and fork, how to say "Thank you" and so on. If this is not enough, there are the stories of child-soldiers. These children, who should be going to school and playing with friends are trained to handle weapons and to fight a war which was never their's.

Truly, the age of innocence is only a dream today. If only we would realize that the days of childhood once lost will never return . . . .

My thoughts on religion

This is my first attempt at posting a blog. So people, please forgive me if I make some blunders.

I took up this topic since it is an evergreen point of debate and discussion (and arguments) at my home, my college and among my friends.

Religion, as far as I care, is just a device to force people to adhere to certain "protocols" so that they will be worthy of a "better life". I do believe in that there is a Superior Force out there who is the Author of this "Order in Chaos" but I don't know what It/He/She is. On the other hand, I am pretty sure that even if He is exactly like how people imagine Him to be, He would never stand for all this nonsense that is happening in the name of religion.

It is rather ironic that people are willing to hurt, rape and kill other people whom they can see,hear and understand for Something or Someone whom they cannot see,hear or understand.

This post was not meant to hurt anybody's sentiments, but if I have inadvertently done so, my most sincere apologies.